1
/
of
2
Unfit For Heaven
Hoingle Spoingle Wizard T-Shirt
Hoingle Spoingle Wizard T-Shirt
Regular price
$24.00 USD
Regular price
Sale price
$24.00 USD
Unit price
/
per
Couldn't load pickup availability
Hoingle Spoingle does not forget.
He has watched you stumble through life with the cold, unblinking gaze of someone who knows exactly how it all ends—and is deeply disappointed by the journey. Every missed opportunity, every terrible haircut, every desperate late-night decision... Hoingle Spoingle has archived them. Alphabetically. He reviews them often.
He is not a kind wizard. His magic smells like burnt fabric and regret. His fingers are too long. His hat is full of whispering things that once had names. When he speaks, you hear your worst thoughts echoed back in a voice that isn’t quite human.
Wearing this shirt won’t protect you. But it will make one thing clear:
You’ve been seen. And you’ve been judged.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
View full details
He has watched you stumble through life with the cold, unblinking gaze of someone who knows exactly how it all ends—and is deeply disappointed by the journey. Every missed opportunity, every terrible haircut, every desperate late-night decision... Hoingle Spoingle has archived them. Alphabetically. He reviews them often.
He is not a kind wizard. His magic smells like burnt fabric and regret. His fingers are too long. His hat is full of whispering things that once had names. When he speaks, you hear your worst thoughts echoed back in a voice that isn’t quite human.
Wearing this shirt won’t protect you. But it will make one thing clear:
You’ve been seen. And you’ve been judged.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
